One Woman's Perspective

By Ashley Lasbury, President of the Governing Board

We are a Covenantal People

Most of you know by now that I have a bunch of children but you may not know that I also have a bunch of sisters. My 3 younger sisters and I do not always get along, although we are very close. We do not fight the way we did when we were growing up, which is a blessing. We are each raising families, pursing careers, chasing our dreams. When we get together we talk non-stop, laugh until our sides hurt and congratulate ourselves on having survived our childhoods relatively in tact. Recently there has been some tension between the 4 of us and in order to work things through and remain healthy we have called a "Sister's Meeting". Initially just the thought of that meeting gave me pause. We are each opinionated, quick to judge, easy to hurt, defensive when challenged and short on forgiveness. These traits are a family legacy which we each acknowledge, and each struggle to rise above. In preparing for the meeting it occurred to me that I could take some of the lessons I have learned at First Parish and apply them to my family relationships. I asked myself this question: what would it look like if before we started our meeting my sisters and I entered into a covenant with each other?

I first heard about the concept of entering into a covenant from Carol Larsen, a past DRE of First Parish. She introduced it to the RE Committee, of which I was the Chair at the time, and I pooh-poohed the idea. After all, we had been working as an effective and efficient committee for two years, each liking and respecting the other committee members. Why did we need to use our time, for in my mind, pointless work when nothing was broken? I could see no value to the exercise. Needless to say, I have come full circle since that time and owe Carol a debt of gratitude.

As Unitarian Universalists we are a covenantal people. Our seven principles start with the words "We Covenant to Affirm and Promote". Covenant is Latin for Come Together and means solemn agreement or promise of the heart regarding a course of action between two parties. Since that time I have witnessed the concept of covenant bloom and grow at First Parish. The Governing Board spends the first part of each fall retreat entering into covenant with each other. Because of our covenant we are asked to hold ourselves and each other to the highest standards of behavior and as a result we are in right and healthy relationship with one another.

When my sisters and I meet we will create our own simple covenant; something along these lines: We will each speak our truth with courage and love. We will listen to each other with respect and patience. We acknowledge our own and each others humanity. We will practice forgiveness. We will hold each other through the laughter and the tears. We will have fun.

We are raising the bar at First Parish. We are entering a time when we must expect and demand not only the best of ourselves but of each other. It is time to expand the concept of creating a covenant and living by that covenant in all of the groups within our faith community. Each group or committee, no matter the size, is called upon to create its own covenant: to enter into right relationship with one another so that we can move forward with the sacred work of our mission; to grow in spirit; to nurture community, and to help heal the world. If one of our goals is to be a truly healthy faith community, then this is the first step on the path.

Peace.

For more information from the UUA on the process of creating a covenant go to: www.uua.org/leaders/leaderslibrary/leaderslibrary/uufaithworks/24968.shtml